“How We Heal” asks readers to embrace the power of positive self-talk

Most people who have chosen the path of self-actualization — which involves seeking to reach their full potential in all areas of their lives — have probably come across the moving words of breathwork coach, restorative writing teacher, and NYT best-selling author Alex Elle. For nearly a decade, she has been sharing her healing journey through a collection of poetry books, prompt-guided journals, and self-care workbooks. She offers personal workshops and courses (currently she is a teacher in residence at Civana Wellness Resort and Spa), and retreats for more hands-on learning. With nearly 1.5 million followers on social media, Elle is an open book. Followers watch her grow as she steps into each new phase of her life. From her first book, “Words From a Wanderer” — a compilation of poems and love notes to herself — to her latest, “How We Heal: Uncover Your Power and Set Yourself Free” ($18), the wife and mother of three offers readers the chance to see what it looks like to heal with intention.

In “How We Heal,” Elle guides readers through their healing journeys, weaving personal anecdotes, journal clues, and exercises throughout the book. In four sections — “Starting From Scratch,” “Befriending Your Fear,” “Reclaiming Your Power,” and “Healing Your Heart” — readers follow a roadmap to connecting with their inner child. The road begins with understanding and choosing self-forgiveness, which Elle tells POPSUGAR “requires gentleness that I feel many of us were not raised to tap into.”

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Elle calls self-forgiveness a “radical act of self-love” because it leaves room for new beginnings and a new story to write. “Self-forgiveness is a hard choice to make,” she says. “And when we give ourselves permission to do that, over time a softening happens. Deeper love takes place within us, and then we can really appear in the world in a way that is more intentional and based on choice. ” With many black women entering their soft periods of life – choosing to prioritize their self-care and happiness while denouncing the “strong black woman” archetype as defined by TikTok – “How We Heal” takes the aesthetic out of social media and becomes a tangible guide to an empowering lifestyle.

The impact of having fellowship while you are healing is continuous in ‘How We Heal’. In addition to her own anecdotes, Elle features the stories of 13 influential women widely known for intentional healing, including Glennon Doyle, Megan Rapinoe, Tabitha Brown, Nneka Julia, and Chriselle Lim. “Every woman in this book inspires me in some way, and I somehow went to them for their wisdom and their emotional support,” says Elle. “I chose the 13 women in this book because each of their stories is so different, but the underlying message is the same.”

Elle particularly praises Dr. Theme Bryant for her dedication to healing and empowerment by connecting the science of psychology and theology. “She centers her own truth and story in how she appears in the pulpit or in a session with a client, and that’s just lovely for me,” says Elle. “Because that’s healing — if we can carry our soul and also say, ‘Yeah, that hurt, and that may have been a hard place to be, but joy is possible.’ Elle emphasizes this sentiment in the book’s tagline: “When we heal ourselves, we heal our heritage. Healing is an act of community care.”

Elle also highlights the benefits of getting in touch with our physical bodies for a holistic approach to healing that includes meditation, naps, various mindfulness breathing techniques, and daily walks. “Walking is a tool for me to calm myself down. It’s a place where I can literally feel like I’m holding myself,” Elle says, comparing the activity to rocking like a newborn. “I take walks to process. I take walks to explore. I take walks to get lost. I take walks to find myself, and all of that serves me this way where I don’t have to know where I’m going. And I can still get something deeply nourishing from this walk.” Yes, walking can feel daunting in the winter, yet Elle chooses to commit to her nutrition and finds the motivation because “choosing food is healing.” She talks more about the benefits of walking in her podcast “This Morning Walk” in collaboration with Libby DeLana.

“How We Heal” gives readers permission to fall in love with themselves, connect with the inner child, and provide a not-so-straight path to introspection. However, as Elle points out, “healing is a forever love,” so readers are encouraged to continue the journey even if self-doubt or fear gets in the way. For those moments, Elle has a simple mantra for when she does her own breathwork: “That’s my breath. I’m alive. I’m not dead. I can breathe. Let’s breathe through this.”

This interview has been edited and shortened for clarity. “How We Heal: Discover Your Power and Free Yourself” by Alex Elle is now in bookstores.

Image Source: Courtesy of Alex Elle