In an ever changing world the only thing that doesn’t change is human resistance to change. Change is the hardest thing in the world: it causes distrust, calling into question self-esteem, and the fear of the uncertain is linked to that of failure. But if it’s so tiring to change, why bother doing it? In a studio Carol Dweck, a Stanford psychologistidentified two types of people.
«The first is characterized by the static mindset. They are people who think in black and white, judge in a definitive way, convinced that it is impossible to move from one situation to another and their recurring question is: “Why did this happen to me?”. Persons of the second type, on the other hand, have one growth mindset, they are able to adapt, they have understood that changing their mind about something can transform them. A concept, the latter, established in neuroscience, especially for the management of stress and our emotions. That is why it is worth trying to change», he begins Mike Maricspecialist in Orthognathodontics and professor at the University of Pavia, world champion in freediving, today coach, CONI 4th level European coach and author of the new book If I breathe I can (Roi Edizioni)».
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The great competition with yourself
«Life, exciting and sometimes very hard, invites us to evolve every day. Training to change means being able to win and better manage small and big daily challenges, the same ones that can overwhelm us if we are unprepared». In short, the greatest competition is with ourselves. “Successful individuals, meaning by success being stronger, serene, grateful and satisfiedhave love for themselves and for what they do, they know their own needs because they know how to listen to each other, they are constant in repeating the same actions over time because they have an authentic desire to pursue, a strong motivation», continues the expert who accompanies in his book the reader on an inner journey to understand how it is possible to improve by translating what happens to us into the opportunity to take control of one’s life.
The phases of the «4D»
«To be able to really change I believe it is necessary to go through four phases which I call “the 4 Ds”. Wish: it is the flame that is born inside you, from your needs, from your clarity of purpose. Decision: deciding also means cutting off, therefore being able to take one path, avoid another and understand what to do to reach your goal. Discipline: it is the ability to face the effort necessary to achieve a goal by giving oneself rules and respecting them. The more motivation, the easier it will be to discipline yourself. Determination: it is the ability to stay on course, it means knowing where you are going and knowing the actions necessary to get there and above all it means not giving up regardless of the circumstances. StIt’s our habits that define the way we face life and its challenges. I often hear this phrase: “But that’s how I am, this is my character”. It is not our character that determines our habits, but habits that forge character and it is here that we make the difference».
Work on the mind
Breathing also comes in support, controlling its rhythm can help in managing emotions, especially on chaotic days. Using his experience as a freediver, Maric figured out that through the breath you work on the mind and you can overcome limits considered insurmountable. «Before entering a meeting or before having to sustain a complex situation, try to practice the so-called square breathing 5-8 times: inhale through the nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, exhale through the nose or mouth for 4 seconds, hold your breath for another 4 seconds. At the end of each “square”, think of a short, positive and imperative sentence such as “Ok, I’m here”», concludes Maric.
The «5 C» method
The goal must make us burn inside because challenging us motivates us. To define the goal “tailored” to us, Maric has devised the 5 C method, applicable in everyday life since he himself tests it in patient management and in the search for high performance with athletes. «The 5 Cs are the 5 essential characteristics of the objectives that will be built one at a time, step by step, through a series of sub-goals,” advises Maric. «In fact, in its greatness it is necessary that the objective be divisible into smaller parts, many micro-objectives that can be reached slowly. It is as if we were preparing to participate in the Olympics: we compete every four years, but we get there through small and large qualifying competitions». According to the 5 C method, a goal to be achieved alone or as a team is
– Clear: clarity of purpose is the first ingredient for building a result. Clarity towards yourself and towards others. Knowing where to go, with whom, what and how to do it.
– Congruous: the goal can be reached if it is congruous with respect to one’s own abilities, characteristics and those of those who support us. It means having the courage to know your limits and knowing how to move them. We can’t ask a helicopter to fly like an airplane.
– Built: a goal is consciously built one step at a time, with more or less long times, even making mistakes, but moving forward, always towards the same destination, often changing direction. Each time a sub-goal is constructed, the certainty that the direction is right is strengthened.
– Press release: communicating the intent is a game-force to make a real team aware of the intentions. When roles and responsibilities, limits and strategies aimed at the goal are defined, it is ensured that the group never acts like a herd.
– shared: the goal must always be shared and in every evolution. Sharing promotes intent and makes the talent of the individual the quality of the whole group. «At the base of everything there is a «sixth C», awareness. Having it means knowing your emotions and learning how to manage them», adds the expert. «We become aware that we are constantly evolving since we were born. Change is part of our existence and is therefore natural».
Never “detach” intoxicates our mind
Neuroscience studies agree in indicating how hyperconnection, never disconnecting even during the day itself, poisons the mind. Here is the rule of «2.7.3.»practical advice that Mike Maric applies daily to proceed at the right pace throughout the day in order to have more energy.
«2»: maximum every 2 hours take a break of no more than 3 minutes from the occupation in progress (unless you are engaged in a task that cannot be interrupted such as surgery) and take a walk, stretch your legs and back, drink a glass of water.
«7»: every 7 days, usually on Sundays, experience invigorating emotions by reserving a few hours of one’s time for those who dedicate their time to us and also for ourselves, alone, doing something we like, silencing the cell phone, exploring new experiences.
«3»: every 3 months, take a few days off, away from everyone and everything, including the internet.
