BEDROOM boredom is creeping in, with sex slipping out of our sight more often than it did a year ago.
Couples now mess around an average of 47 times a year – less than once a week – compared with 2021/22 when the average number of playtimes was 57.
Last year, we used to have sex 68 times — about 1.3 times a week, according to research by healthcare company Nature And Bloom.
But if you are in a period of sexual decline, do not despair.
Here, sex and relationship expert Kate Taylor tells Claire Dunwell what can take down love and reveals how to restart passion in just five minutes.
Table of Contents
FEELING too fat to have to?
YOU are not alone if feelings of clutter are dampening your desire.
A 2016 study revealed that women who were dissatisfied with their bodies had less sex drive and less orgasms.
Fellas is also not immune to sexual body shame.
According to the Mental Health Foundation, more than a fifth of men say their body image has negatively affected their sex life.
FIXED 5 MIN – belly dance: Belly dancers report very high levels of body satisfaction.
Try a five-minute belly dance tutorial on YouTube, ideally with your partner.
The hip wiggle helps you focus on what your body can do and not just what it looks like and will increase your heart rate and help blood flow “down below.”
IF both of you are seething with resentment rather than lust, your bed will be a wasteland.
It is therefore not surprising that research has found that couples with the lowest conflict resolution skills – in other words, those with aversions – report their level of satisfaction with their sex lives. they are the lowest.
FIXED 5 MIN – quick dawn: Set your alarm five minutes early and start your day off right.
Don’t linger in foreplay – instead, aim for the climax as quickly as possible.
A University of Cincinnati study found that the calming, relaxing effects of morning sex can last up to seven days.
Then, agree on how you’ll fix your problems — or better yet, agree to disagree.
According to the Gottman Institute, couples often argue over unresolvable issues. So let it go.
YOU’RE TOO TURNS
The more stressed you feel, the less sexual desire you have.
Stress kills your sex drive by putting you in a “fight-or-flight” state – raising your heart rate and blood pressure and flooding your body with the sex-killing chemical cortisol.
FIXED 5 MINUTES – sniff his sweat: A study in the Journal of Neuroscience found that women were soothed, then stimulated by the smell of their partner’s sweat.
Smell lowers our cortisol levels, which would otherwise inhibit our arousal.
When you feel hurt, get close and take a deep breath of his scent.
You will find your emotions soften – then your passions will begin to stir.
Like stress, anxiety can cause your body to stop wanting it.
Regularly focus on “what if?” Thoughts make your brain spin, while imagining worst-case scenarios drains your nervous system.
FIXED 5 MIN – synchronized breathing: Focusing on your breath is a tantric technique that helps you maintain your thoughts in the present, release stress, and calm anxiety.
Get into bed naked with your partner and lie with your breasts touching.
This skin-to-skin bond is a great way to release the hormone oxytocin, which boosts feelings of love and trust.
Then try to synchronize your breathing so that you are both inhaling and exhaling at the same time.
Keep your breathing in sync as you begin to touch each other.
FEELING NOT LOVED
Do you ever feel like your partner doesn’t want to have sex with you, they just want sex?
Feeling unloved or taken advantage of is the biggest failure.
5 MIN EDUCATION – watching TV in bed: Instead of sitting in front of the television downstairs, move the viewing area into your bedroom.
A recent survey by VoucherCodes found that couples with TVs in their bedrooms are twice as likely to have sex than couples who don’t — and 29% of them are infatuated while watching a show. especially boring.
Hug each other in front of a boring show and play kissing games every time a character on screen uses a certain word.
ONE consequence of menopause — along with hot flashes, depression, and mood swings — is that your intimate areas become less sensitive.
Reduced blood flow means you need stronger stimulation, and thinner skin means your usual toys may irritate you rather than irritate.
5 MIN REPAIR – drop your bullets: Try a specially designed, powered toy like the Oscillator (from £90, eu.eroscillator.com).
This groundbreaking (and groundbreaking) gadget features different attachments, all of which oscillate at high speeds to create orgasms without leaving you bruised or numb.
ONE of the best parts of having a stable relationship is knowing how to turn on each other.
But over time, that familiarity can lead to boredom.
FIXED 5 MIN – loudly: Forget about being the strong and quiet type in bed.
A study of nearly 400 people recently found that verbal and nonverbal communication during sex (e.g. whimpers and groans) significantly increased their sexual satisfaction. .
Communication must be received positively, otherwise the speaker will feel hurt and vulnerable.
Jump in bed and instead of starting your tried and tested moves, start talking about the sexiest scene you’ve ever seen in a movie or book.
Continue the conversation as you make the fantasy.
SANITATION LAX SMALL
YOU used to spend hours showering and shaving before a date, but now your only preparation is to shave off your week-old shirt.
Feeling comfortable in a relationship can lead to you becoming lax in your personal hygiene.
FIXED 5 MIN – cold shower: Contrary to what you might expect, a cold soak has been shown to increase estrogen levels in women and testosterone levels in men, leading to a significant increase in sex drive. .
Take a cold shower and maximize the libido effects using scented body washes and soaps that have been proven to boost your libido.
Research in 2014 by the National Institutes of Health found that the smell of bitter orange excites people, while other studies show that patchouli oil increases libido.
Try Good Karma. . . Everyone needs some patchouli and orange body wash (£8, Lush).
Unfair division of work? Bang, and your sex life is gone.
A 2015 study found that couples who share housework have more sex than those in relationships where only one person does most of the work.
5 MIN REPAIR – kitchen joke: If your kitchen is the dirtiest room in the house, make it the dirtiest.
A survey by Decluttr found that 50% of people say they are more likely to have sex with their partner when they’re done with household chores.
Work together to give it a radical blitz.
When it sparkles, the fun can begin. Fight with spoons and run ice cubes over each other’s chests.
Drizzle honey or alcohol over each other and lick it off, then finish with a quick copulation on the counter or on the rim of the washing machine.
YOU ARE SO TIRED
IF your energy levels are more doom and gloom and voom, your sex life will stagnate.
FIXED 5 MIN – salad dressing: Instead of sugary snacks to get you through the day, eat some greens to boost your sex drive.
Lettuce contains many passionate stimulants.
Rocket has been shown to increase men’s testosterone levels, while kale, spinach, and broccoli all contain calcium, which enhances blood circulation to your southern regions.
Add foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids (fish oils, avocados, flaxseeds, almonds, or dried fruit) to boost energy levels and even increase skin sensitivity.