They touched your chin and traced the finger down to your neck, as they bite their lip and whispered in your ear, “you better not cum, yet” with a voice that is controlling, calming and chilling at the same time. You know, sometimes, the sexiest thing in the world could be the power of being controlled and denied. This is the feeling that comes with orgasm control.

Most people are in the habit of letting their partners know when they’re going to cum and what if they decide to take this minute, to take the reigns and ask you to hold on? Orgasm control has the ability to hold you right there, at a point where you desperately want to arch your back and release but, you’re holding it there, elongating the sense of please, for a while. Sounds interesting, doesn’t it?

It’s a shame that only kinky people who practice BDSM usually partake in this. It really demands some experimentation. Huh?

But, How Does Orgasm Control Work?

Orgasm control can be a very intimate part of the sexual experience. According to me, even to be able to experiment with it, you require a deep knowledge of the other person’s needs, greed, desires and of course, their body. Therefore, I don’t think it’s everyone’s cup of tea. It demands a lot of attention towards their body and its reactions which can be a little too much, for some people.

Technically, the whole process of orgasm control is made up of 5 stages i.e. the initial excitement, increasing muscle tension, rising heart rate, accelerated breathing, and of course, the element of control and release. You feel the implications and effects of all of these in your vagina and of course, your nipples. The excitement and feeling of pleasure also shoot up and down your back. (Is this turning you on too? I get that haha)

A 2018 study of more than 1,000 women found that many (about 36.6 per cent) can only achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation, while only 18 per cent can reach orgasm through sexual intercourse alone. Orgasm control can help you achieve the orgasm with a mixture of techniques, together. It involves a little bit of everything and well, this can be a brilliant way to work everything out. It can help you get over the orgasm anxiety as well, making the moment all about pleasure.

Alas, most people are too scared that experimenting with orgasm control might make them just, lose their orgasms which are already so hard to come by, so they hold onto their tight and make sure they ride it out. Ironically, they’re missing out because staying on the ride beyond the end, can make this ride, much more intense and fun. Are you wondering how to start this experimentation?

How To Start Experimenting With Orgasm Control?

Any kind of sexual experimentation has the power to help you understand yourself and discover more about yourself so, there is literally no harm in experimenting. It’s essential to keep in mind, the fact that not everything’s going to work out for the best but hey, what if it brings you a new feeling, desire or kink that’s an absolute keeper? I think it might be worth it, huh? So, how should you start?

1. Consent Matters The Most

If you wish to experiment with this, talk to your partner and have a discussion with them. Let them know that you wish to experiment with this and give them time to think so they can give their consent. After all, consent is the starting point for everything great and sexy.

2. Foreplay Is The King

Touch each other and explore your erogenous zones. if you’re experimenting with power exchange too, then use implements like ropes, handcuffs, binds etc. to tie down your partner and start touching and introducing stimulation to their erogenous zones, get them hot and heavy.

3. Get To The Edge And Pause

Keep the stimulation going and keep the momentum going till they get to the edge, a point where they feel like an orgasm is building up and then? Pause the stimulation and let them know that it isn’t the time to cum, yet.

4. Slowly Tease Them With Light Touches

Mess around with them and slowly touch their erogenous zones, whisper sexy things in their ears and let the heat be maintained at the moment. Keep going till they can hold no longer and literally need to let go. Push them, the great O is about to come!

5. It’s Time To Let Go

Start penetration and go at a stable but rough them to let go and be there, present for support. Hold them and let them release. There’s a good chance that the orgasm would be so intense that they might require all your attention or support to calm down and get back to normal. Help them calm their breathing and get prepared for aftercare.

6. Aftercare Is Key


Cuddle with your partner, hold them close and help them calm down. After this, get them some food and water and be present for emotional and physical support. This can turn into a brilliant and emotional moment for both of you to establish a beautiful connection.

Experiment with this kink and give your orgasms the boost that they need. Let’s push it and make your orgasm, new and intense. Go slow, remain positive and try this with someone that you absolutely trust. It can be a brilliant experience for you and for them.

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