Tammy Brown didn't make the trip from Cary, North Carolina, to Knoxville for exhibition games during Tamari Key's first four seasons with Lady Vols basketball.
Brown knew they would be blowouts, and she usually makes the five-hour drive instead of flying when she visits her oldest daughter. So Brown skipped the exhibitions in the past. It didn't make sense to go, especially once her younger daughter, Teonni, started her playing career at North Carolina. Brown needs a color-coded spreadsheet – light blue for Teonni and orange for Tamari – to keep track of their schedules.
But this year was different.
This year, Brown knew Tamari was going to step on the court for the first time in almost 11 months after blood clots in her lungs sidelined her last season. When 6-foot-6 center checked into the Carson-Newman exhibition on Oct. 30, Brown was there.
"There was no way I was going to miss that," Brown told Knox News.
Brown returned for the exhibition against the U.S. women's national team Sunday, and she'll be in the stands when the No. 12 Lady Vols open the season against Florida A&M on Tuesday (6:30 p.m. ET, SEC Network+).
"Give yourself grace," Brown told Key before the first exhibition. "You're not going to be where you were 11 months ago, but that's OK. It's going to come."
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Why Tamari Key’s diagnosis is still emotional for her
Key was exhausted after running up and down the court in her first practice back this summer.
But then she wasn't.
When Key got a chance to catch her breath playing five-on-five, her lungs could recover. Key looked at Bryan Tatum, the Lady Vols' strength and conditioning coach, and said, "Wow, I can breathe."
"It sounds so corny," Key told Knox News. "But that was a full circle moment for me when I first started back practicing."
Key still gets emotional when she talks about hearing her diagnosis. Not so much because of the gravity of it, but because she finally had an answer.
"I knew that something was wrong for so long, that when I finally figured it out, it was like, 'OK, I’m not just playing like this,' " Key said. "I figured out what was wrong, I could take the next steps to get back to feeling like myself again."
Sitting out last season was the hardest part. Key started 93 of her 99 appearances at Tennessee, and her senior year was over after nine games. She's a crucial piece of the Lady Vols defense and rebounding – she broke Candace Parker's career block record her junior season – and it felt like everything was lined up for her best season yet.
But the process of getting back on the court was almost as difficult mentally. Key's lungs were starting over from ground zero – maybe even below that.
After Key's diagnosis, she didn't do anything for two or three weeks. Then she did cardio for four straight months before she got cleared for more, but it was more to get her heart rate up and help her break a sweat. It didn't compare to the level of conditioning needed for what she does on the court.
"I'm trying not to give into the pressures of what I feel like is coming from me coming back. What if I don’t live up to that expectation that everyone has of me?" Key said. "I’m not saying that I won’t, but I’m just trying to focus on me and taking it one day at a time and completely blocking out the outside noise."
Lady Vols coach Kellie Harper's message has been consistent to everyone: "We have to be patient with her." Harper and her staff have focused on progressing Key wisely and understanding it's not a steep climb, it's a marathon.
"You’re not an elite athlete, take it away for a year and find you’re still that elite athlete," Harper said. "It’s going to take some time and that is OK. The most important thing is that she is healthy, she is happy and going to be able to lead a productive life now and in her future."
How Tamari Key found life outside basketball again
Brown was adamant about one thing when her daughters started playing basketball at five years old.
Her kids were still going to be kids. They would know that basketball is what they do, not who they are.
"Basketball is not life," Brown said. "A lot of kids lose themselves in sports. I played collegiate volleyball at Coastal Carolina, and I just refused to lose myself in the sport."
After all, when Tamari and Teonni were young, they loved playing because it was fun. They loved the social aspect, making friends and having sleepovers. It became more of a commitment as they got older, but Brown ensured they still had lives outside of basketball.
When Key was in middle school, she was upset because she thought she would have to miss a sleepover. They had to leave for a tournament the next morning, but Brown wasn't going to let that stop Key. She let Key go and hang out until midnight, and then Brown picked her up when everyone went to bed.
"Life outside of basketball allowed them to still be kids," Brown said. "Now, I didn’t have a lot of friends whose kids thought the same way ... and that’s OK for you. But what I didn't allow my kids to do is lose the love for the game because they lost their life in the process."
The lesson Brown instilled in Key was more important than ever last season. She had to build a life outside of basketball again. So she started a journal. She got a cat. She leaned on friends when life slowed down too much after three years of having every hour of every day scheduled.
Key believes everything happens for a reason. It took time to make peace with the diagnosis and the timing of it, which she said was "absolutely terrible."
But she’s thankful for the person she became because of it.
"I think I was putting basketball on this pedestal, and I shouldn't have been," Key said. "So I think that God wanted to sit me down and be like, you are not basketball. You're just a person who plays basketball ... I'm going to have to learn how to do life and not play basketball and not be a basketball player."
How Tamari Key improved her lifestyle during recovery process
Tatum walked up the stairs in Thompson-Boling Arena with Key shortly after she got cleared for cardio.
They talked as they made two or three trips around the arena during practice, and Tatum brought up other ways Key could make progress while her training was limited. Her nutrition and sleep habits were training, too.
When the progress felt slow and Key's patience was tested, she turned her attention to what she could control.
"I didn't want to just be sitting out and nothing came from it," Key said. "Because it would be easy for me to just sit and feel bad for myself and be sad and victimize myself. But I couldn't, that wasn't going to be good for me or the team."
As Key begins her redshirt senior season, her sleeping and eating habits have never been better. She created a positive from a negative, a lesson Brown has preached to her daughter countless times over the years.
"As a mother, the biggest thing is you have to keep reminding them, even if you're being repetitive," Brown said. "Even if they don't want to believe, as a mother you feel like it's my duty to make them believe that they're going to be fine."
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Key may need the reminders more often as official games begin, especially the reminder to give herself grace. She isn't the player she used to be yet, and the journey is far from over.
But Key is back on the court, and she's ready to finish what she started.
Cora Hall covers University of Tennessee women’s athletics. Email her at [email protected] and follow her on Twitter @corahalll. If you enjoy Cora’s coverage, consider a digital subscription that allows you to access all of it.
