NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Maryanne del Fuego was admitted to the hospital for what turned out to be a panic attack caused by a densely packed day of “fun,” according to her exhausted friends.
“I work upwards of 60 hours a week,” said del Fuego, 26, a marketing analyst. “So I usually have to jam all my relaxation and fun into a short period of time. Recently, I organized the perfect Sunday Funday for my friend group. First, we’d have brunch; then rent some bikes for a ride by the river. I blocked out 45 minutes for the farmer’s market, followed by kickball in the park and then drinks downtown. There was more, too. However, around midday, I started to have a hard time breathing, felt nauseous, and nearly passed out. The girls brought me to the hospital, even though I begged them not to. We hadn’t even gotten to the escape room!”
Friend Cynthia Smithwick was one of del Fuego’s companions on the lightning-paced day of relaxation.
“When she sent the schedule, I warned her she was flying too close to the sun,” said Smithwick. “I suggested we just stay in, get some pizza and wine and watch ‘FBoy Island.’ But Maryanne has, like, terminal FOMO and said that we needed to do ‘all the things’ and that ‘she can watch TV when she’s dead.’ The amount of Insta pics she was taking made me think that part of it was so her ex could see she was living her best life. I could tell things were going south when she freaked out about forgetting to schedule a cheese tasting. Then she started hyperventilating and sobbing.”
Psychologist Elliott Nance says that attempting to force too much fun or relaxation into a short span of time can be psychologically detrimental.
“We’re seeing a rise in panic-related cases correlated to this sort of behavior,” said Nance. “The data shows a sharp uptick on Sundays—the day before the work week begins for most. In fact, the official diagnosis of ‘Sunday Scaries’ was recently added to the DSM-5. The thing is that fun—much like a man’s acceptance of his second wife’s chronically unemployed adult child who still lives at home—is something that can’t be forced. It must come naturally.”
At press time, del Fuego had been observed driving west at high speed, chasing Sunday’s setting sun in an effort to stave off Monday for even a few moments more.