Before I begin, I need to tell you a bit about this heart magick.
I spent many hours trying to figure out what I could say about the heart, about magick, and about the way this unfolds in the world as it is right now. I wrote out notes. I crafted a speech. I practiced it with a teleprompter and pages of notes across my desk, recording myself to make sure the sound was just right. That the setting was right. That the feeling was just right.
And twenty minutes before the presentation, I realized I would be speaking from my head and not my heart.
And that wouldn’t do.
So, I put away the notes, scribbled a few points on a post-it note, and took a breath.
Let’s talk about what is coming up for me right now.
And maybe for you.
I’m going to share a part of it now.
A Personal Heart Story
(excerpt from my unedited presentation notes from Moon Con 2021, “The Magick of the Heart.)
I have a story about my heart to share with you.
I had just moved to California from the Midwest and I had a strange pain in my back. It wouldn’t let up, wouldn’t let me sleep, and I was having trouble breathing.
My husband was worried and made me go to the ER, where I became the medical mystery and was surrounded by healthcare professionals.
My heart was beating so fast that they were concerned for me. They did test after test, without any clear results. But they knew they needed to slow my heart or else bad things would happen.
They told me that there was a medication that would stop my heart and get it back to a normal rhythm. I asked them what it would feel like. They told me it would be the worst seven seconds of my life.
My husband was pushed away from the bed because the resuscitation team needed to be closer. I looked at him, the fear in his eyes, and I smiled. It’s going to be okay, I said.
It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be fine. They pushed the medication. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Nothing happened. Huh. My heart was still beating. And I looked around.
“I guess we have to do that again.”
I took a breath and they tried the medication again. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Nothing. My heart didn’t change.
I didn’t know my heart could be so stubborn. So resilient. So, apparently determined to continue to beat. I know it’s not that simple.
But this was where I was introduced to the magick of the heart.
Within a year, I would be going to my first Reclaiming Witchcamp where I would meet two witches carrying parasols.
Where I would find out just how many mosquitoes could bite me in one week.
Where I would find my magickal community.
The one that encourages and holds my heart.
That has seen my heart break.
That has helped me put it back together.
A Moment with Your Heart
Take a moment and feel where your heart is.
Slow? Steady? Fast? An extra beat?
It’s a fascinating organ. A muscle that pumps blood again and again, into and out of the different chambers, allowing the blood to carry oxygen and nutrients to the other organs in order to sustain life.
But it’s also a carrier of stories.
A holder of wisdom.
A signaler of fear, happiness, anxiety, sadness, worry, and anger.
It’s the center of you, well, a little off to the left.
And I believe it to be the center of magick.
What is magick without feeling?
Without clarity of mind?
Without oxygen to the brain?
What is a spell without the unique force and rhythm of you?
What is an intention when it’s not also flowing through all of your being?
Can we move to the places we want to move if our heart is not in it?
Can we feel the gifts of the world if we are not attuned to our own heart?
Step into the Chambers of Yourself
No matter how you make contact with your heart, let it be a place of devotion. Let it be a place of care, of connection, and of community. Resource yourself, remind yourself, reengage with yourself.
Beat by beat.
Moment by moment.
Moment of potential, of gift, of another possibility granted.