In a city like Hong Kong that’s fast-paced and competitive, people tend to be hard on themselves. How can we move past this to achieve better health?
It starts with acknowledgement and acceptance that you’re even doing this and the negative impact that it has over time. It doesn’t make you faster or more competent. It chips away at your self-esteem, your integrity, your nervous system and your magnetic field energy. Your overall sense of self.
From there, return to compassion. Often, negative self-talk comes from a way to control our feelings in relation to what is occurring. Instead of trying to gain control of your feelings, feel your feelings. It will give them less power. You feel to heal. Some of them will process and release. From there, you choose to observe the underlying fear, that underlying feeling of “not being enough” in that situation. We are living in a world where it is projected that we all need to be the master of everything, which sets up unrealistic expectations in our consciousness.
Once you have allowed the tenderness of acceptance and compassion to move through, then you can go to the questions I ask myself. “Is this narrative fact or fiction (a story I have made up over time to stay in control)?” You will start to realise that you have a whole bunch of fictional narratives running through you that you’ve normalised. Then you ask yourself, “What will be the most empowering thing I could do for myself right now?”
The answer is going to look different every time. Sometimes that will look like changing the narrative you’re running through your heart and your mind. For example, turn “I am not enough” into “I am competent and present with everything that is needed from me in this moment.” You say this quietly to yourself several times, or out loud if the situation allows, and once you start to feel it move through your sensory system your energy will change, your attention will shift, your perspective will renew, and you can return to the moment and its needs.
Nothing is ever really one and done. We must apply practices like this consistently until the new belief or narrative takes roots, moves through us and becomes the new default. Ultimately, we must choose internally to own and embrace our potential. We should not let anyone else define this. We will all get knocked down, it’s in the getting up and realigning with one’s inherent worth, value and magnificence that carves a new path forward.
What are some notable changes you’ve seen in your clients after working with them?
Wow, the changes I have seen in my clients and students are vast. From healing trauma that holds one back from living a life they desire, following their hearts to build businesses they are aligned with, seeing people take the consistent steps to have more well-rounded approach and practices in their lives that align with them, to supporting people to transition from one career to the next, move locations and rebuild their lives to releasing fear, anxiety and overthinking moving from survival into thriving.
Overall, the most notable change that is a consistent thread in all my clients is a sense of self-empowerment. Having the tools, practices and knowledge to re-pattern their narratives, to reach more connected and embodied understanding of themselves, to meeting whatever challenges they are moving through with more awareness, grace and heart, to step back in the driver seat of their wellness and life on every level.
