Anxiety and anger are two emotions that seem to find its way inside many of our lives. If something doesn’t go as planned we get anxious. If something isn’t working out properly, we get angry. Most times it’s the things that we can’t control that make us feel uneasy.

But not knowing how to respond to those emotions can truly make a difference. Time and time again, we’ve seen people’s jobs, careers, or even families be ruined due to the lack of emotional intelligence. When you don’t know what to do with your emotions you can easily make some bad decisions.

It’s not okay to act on anger and anxieties that come your way. Now, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with having those feelings and emotions. I’m saying that if you allow those things to dictate your reaction to a particular situation, you can truly find yourself in a place you don’t want to be.

As a disclaimer, I am not a doctor, nor a therapist, but I know for a fact that not being able to control your actions when something’s wrong is a problem. When you can’t control your actions, you begin to effect other people. Just imagine someone rubbing you the wrong way and in return you end up in jail. Well, not only did you compromise your freedom but you also effected your family.

Or maybe you have an anger problem and you seem to get violent. Well, although you may be hurting others, you’re also hurting yourself. Sometimes our anxieties get the best of us but guess what. In some way, you can choose to do something about it. You can get help. You can get better, one step at a time. You can join support networks to learn to cope better. You can try therapy or anger management classes. Whatever it is, you have to make the choice to do better.

I looked up a few ways to practice calming and here’s what I found.


Yes, breathe. I know you’re already breathing but this time focus on your breath. Breathe in deeply and exhale. Slow breaths. Take it in and let it out. Imagine yourself letting go of whatever is bothering you in each breath you take and release.

Admit that you’re anxious or angry

Admit it. Say it out loud. Let yourself know that there’s a problem. That is the first step; for you can’t solve a problem that you don’t know or admit that you have.

Shift your focus

If you feel yourself getting over the top, shift your focus. Take that energy and put it somewhere else. Do some of the things you love to do. Tap into your happy place. Get your mind off of what’s bothering for the moment and deal with it at a later time.

These are just a few suggestions that could go a long way. Just remember that you’re not alone. Somebody’s counting on you to grow. Make the choice to win in those places. Even if it takes baby steps to get there. Go for it.

-LaShawnda S. Wilkins (@speaklifeshawnie)

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